


autumn story

by aaxbbxx



Series: Written in The Stars • ASTRO oneshots [8]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: M/M, but sanha is loved by the rest of the members, everyone has everyone's back, my baby sanha, other members too, rated T for mentions of depression, sanha is the strongest person ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 14:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18412454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaxbbxx/pseuds/aaxbbxx
Summary: based on the interview where Sanha revealed he became depressed during the release of their 3rd album





	autumn story

**Author's Note:**

> warning: mentions of depression ahead

 

Sanha knew the entertainment industry was a competitive world. He knew right when he entered as a trainee in Fantagio, that staying in this type of world meant a lot of sacrifices, blood, sweat and tears. When he first got accepted to become part of Fantagio, he was still young, so very young. When they debuted he was still a teen undergoing physical and emotional changes. Being part of Astro, he thought that was when the worry would end, but it only got harder as they all navigated the idol world together. He was glad he had a support system to hold on to, his family–though they may not see each other as often, they were still a big part– and of course his new family, the other members of Astro.

 

Even with all that support, he still fell off the grid.

 

\--

 

Sanha scrolled through his phone as the rest of Astro took a break in their hotel room. They were in LA and had a day off just before they had another one of their concerts the next day.

 

He stopped on a particular photo and he couldn't help but smile at how different he looked then compared to the present. Puberty certainly did him right, as he ran his eyes over his young form.

 

Autumn Story.

 

It was one of the photos from their Autumn Story era. Their third mini album in just a year. They were pretty busy then since they debuted, and Sanha remembered all the good times that happened. Their fun photoshoots, laughter-filled waiting rooms during show performances, and even random game plays.

 

But he also could not forget the sad times.

 

It was the first time he really did feel depressed. He didn't know what to do then, still at the age of a teen with no idea that he was sinking into a void. He thought it was just a part of puberty, but he later realized, that musn't be it. Why would such an awful thing be part of the norm?

 

That's when he realized he had depression.

 

He remembered a year ago, he partook in an interview regarding depression among teenagers, and at first he was scared of what people would think about him after they find out about his state. But after the video was released, he felt light to see that their fans were in support of him.

 

He remembered his exact words during that show.

 

_"I always felt tired, and after a long day, there was a playground near our dorm, I used to tell my manager that I'm going for a walk.I cried a lot sitting in that playground for no reason. I didn't know what to do. just like LUDA, a member of our group is a great listener. And after I talked to him about it, I felt a lot better."_

 

And all he said was true. He did feel tired, and he did use to cry alone without knowing the reason why. He felt like he couldn't talk to anyone about it, felt like he'd be embarrassing himself if he did. But one day he suddenly had the courage to talk to someone about it, one of the hyungs he knew was a great listener.

 

Park Jinwoo.

 

Jin Jin was a great listener. Ask any of the members, they would say the same thing. He didn't know what was it about his hyung that had the ability to let him speak freely without being afraid of being judged.

 

So he talked to him and it was the best decision in his life.

 

He remembered just breaking down in front of his hyung. It was only the two of them at the same playground that he used to cry alone in. He remembered explaining what he was feeling, the way he always just felt drained from everything, the way he was confused about why he was feeling this way.

 

He remembered Jin Jin just calmly listening to each word. Remembered the tears glistening in his hyung's eyes, the tight embrace that followed his words, the soft advice his hyung gave him, the reassurance Jin Jin offered that he was always going to be there for Sanha, not only him but the others as well.

 

That for as long as he felt anything, may it be happy or sad, that he could come to his hyung no matter the time, no matter the situation. Because he wasn't only doing this because they were members of the same band, but because they were family, and family take care and love of their own.

 

So that's what Sanha did.

 

After that brief moment in the past, he eventually told the other members about his depression, a few short months after he confided in Jin Jin. He was enveloped into many hugs, shared tears, and whispers of confidence that he wasn't alone. Never will he ever.

 

He found out too, that he wasn't the only one that felt that way. Sometimes other members had their own breakdowns, and now they all had each other to lean on in times of need.

 

Ever since then, Sanha hadn't fallen back into that pit of hell. But he did have some bad days among the good. He would usually just go to one of the members, or sometimes they were all in tune with each other and they will just know, same goes for when other had their own tough days.

 

Surprisingly, today was one of those days. It was what prompted him to scroll past memories in the first place.

 

He was happy yes, but he was also emotionally drained. He was ecstatic to have came out with their first regular album, touring the whole world, and being with his members, but the tight schedules, lack of sleep was taking a toll on him.

 

"-ha?" He felt a nudge and he slowly looked up from his phone, noting that his eyes had turned glassy. He blinked them away and watched as his view cleared and he saw the rest of the members looking at him with concern.

 

"Huh?" He asked and watched as Rocky approached him and sat next to him. The rest of the members following Rocky's example and sitting on the bed he was in.

 

"We were calling your name for a while now, baby," Rocky softly tells him as Rocky's hands came to run through his hair.

 

He gave a soft, "Oh."

 

"One of those days?" Eunwoo asks quietly. He only nodded in reply.

 

Bin reached out to his exposed ankle and gave it a reassuring squeeze. MJ gave him one of those sad smiles. They knew how those felt.

 

Suddenly, Jin Jin clapped his hands together, everyone startled at the sudden noise. "I know!"

 

"Hyung! That scared me!" Bin whined as he clutched his chest.

 

"Hyung!" Rocky squeaked from beside him, and he couldn't help but laugh at their reaction.

 

Somehow, he didn't even flinch at the sound. Eunwoo, too, seemed to find the rest of the reactions funny, while MJ kicked Jin Jin's leg. "YA!"

 

"Sorry, sorry," Jin Jin sheepishly apologized, "but in my defence, I didn't think you guys would get startled by a mere clap."

 

"Want me to bust your eardrums?! Who wouldn't get scared at the sudden boom near their ears, stupid?!" MJ yelled out, still kicking at Jin Jin, while the leader of the group just took the beating from his boyfriend with a laugh.

 

"Okay, stop it," MJ did and sat down in a chair farthest away from Jin Jin, "what I was trying to say, before I _accidentally_ startled you guys, was that why don't we spend the day out?"

 

Interested noises suddenly chirped around the room.

 

"What do you think Sanha?" Jin Jin asked him, giving him a smile. The rest of the members looking to him for his answer, with Rocky running a hand up and down his back in comfort.

 

Sanha knew his hyung was suggesting this to help him and he gave a huge grin in return, "I think that's the best idea you had so far."

 

This prompted a huge laugh fest between the rest of the people in the room. He wasn't the evil maknae for nothing. Jin Jin just shook his head and muttered something underneath his breath.

 

"Okay so, we have Universal Studios and Six Flags as an option. Which–" Jin Jin got cut off by simulataneuos answers flying out the four members mouths while Sanha calmly looked on at the excited faces of the rest.

 

 

"Six Flags!

"Six Flags!"

"Minions!"

"Six Flags!"

 

Sanha busted out laughing, his calm exterior broken by Eunwoo's answer. "Eunwoo-hyung!"

 

Eunwoo looked completely innocent while the others gave him a look, "What?"

 

"Ya, Eunwoo-ssi, minions is not a place, calm yourself, we know it's in universal, but seriously? It's not a place is it?" MJ called Eunwoo out while the others giggled.

 

"Sanha where do you want to go?" Rocky piped up from beside him. Sanha knew by now what his boyfriend wanted and he knew he would never ever go with him on those.

 

"Universal," he said with a smile as Rocky frowned at him.

 

"Don't you wanna be with me?" Rocky whined and Sanha patted his cheek.

 

"I do but not those rides, I'd rather just have a leisure time at Universal with all the cute stuff," he giggled at the last word and he watched as Rocky's eyes softened. They both turned back to the rest as Jin Jin called everyone's attention over.

 

"Okay, it's an even split, I want to go to Universal as well, so we all can just separate and go to the one we want," everyone nodded their heads in understanding. "I already expected this and asked one of our staff to get us all day passes, so here you go," with that, Jin Jin got the passes out of his pocket like it was nothing.

 

They all stared at Jin Jin in surprise while the leader looked bashful, "I wanted to get you guys something so I thought why not treat them to something they would enjo–" again Jin Jin was cut off as everyone ran to him and tackled him with hugs.

 

"Hyung!"

"You're the best!"

"Stupid man!"

"Yay!"

"Minions!"

 

"Okay, okay, calm down, wash up and we'll meet here in 10 minutes."

 

With that, everyone jetted off to their own rooms. Since this was his and MJ's room, he didn't need to leave and he was practically ready anyway, just needed his camera and bag and he's ready to go. He noticed Jin Jin didn't leave with the rest.

 

"Hyung, aren't you getting your stuff?"

 

Jin Jin shook his head with a grin, "Nah, I have it here with me already, I left my bag with MJ last night."

 

Sanha tilted his head in confusion, "Last night? But when?" Sanha only remembered passing out in bed as soon as they got in, so it must have been after.

 

"We went on a walk," MJ suddenly piped up from the washroom.

 

Sanha gave out an, "Ahhhh." They must have had one of their night walks slash dates. Sanha swore they were relationship goals, but he thought of him and Rocky and he couldn't decide. If Eunwoo was there, he'd argue that he and Bin were THE couple goals.

 

Sanha giggled to himself, and shook his head when Jin Jin gave him a questioning look. Astro sure was full of couples, it was good they were evenly split, or else one person would be a third wheel all the time. Then again, their manager already held that title.

 

"We're back!!"

"Let's Go!"

"Minions!"

 

Sanha watched as MJ face-palmed at Eunwoo's remark. He also knew that once they would get to universal, Eunwoo would never stop nattering on about getting to the minions.

 

"Okay, so plan is we get on two buses, one for Universal and the other for Six Flags," Jin Jin started and everyone was suddenly paying him their full attention. "So, team visual boyfriends, with me!"

 

Sanha giggled as the other three members, Bin, Rocky and Mj, suddenly gave him a scrunched up look, while Eunwoo joined Jin Jin, giving him a high five. He walked up to his two hyungs and stuck out his tongue at Rocky, watching as his boyfriend returned it with a cross eyed face.

 

"The other will go with MJ-hyung," Jin Jin said with a laugh.

 

"Ya! Ya!" MJ warned and Jin Jin looked down at the floor still laughing.

 

"Let's goooo~" Sanha sang and pushed the people out of their room before a fight broke out.

 

They all filed in the elevator going down to the lobby where their transports were waiting.

 

"Have fun today, okay?" Sanha heard from behind him and he twisted to face Rocky's worried look. He smiled at his worry-wart boyfriend.

 

"I will, don't worry. You too, don't fall to your death, okay?" He joked and watched as Rocky finally vanished his concerned look.

 

Sanha knew his boyfriend worries, he always does, especially on days where he knew Sanha was not his 100%.

 

Before Sanha knew it, Rocky had pulled his head down and gave him a lingering kiss. He faintly heard the fake disgusted sound from Bin, and the whoops that MJ gave. Rocky pulled back and gave him a smirk, "See you later." Then he stepped around Sanha, just as the elevator opened to the lobby.

 

Sanha shook his head. Rocky does this every time, and every time he never learns and always just become flustered. He shook his head and followed the rest out to the lobby, which was thankfully empty, save for the employees and a handful of guests.

 

He watched as Bin had an arm over Eunwoo's shoulder, whispering something to him, while MJ had his arm looped through Jin Jin's as they followed Rocky out to the main entrance where their buses were parked. It was a good thing everyone knew how touchy feely they can get, so it wasn't suspicious nor weird and they can get away with being clingy to their significant other and fans were none the wiser.

 

Everyone finally separated at the gap between the two buses and Sanha laughed giddily at MJ's exaggerated flying kisses before slipping inside the bus. Bin followed suit with flying heart aegyo, stumbling on the steps up the bus. Rocky winked at their direction before pushing Bin inside and eventually closing the car door.

 

Sanha turned as he was dragged by an excited Eunwoo while Jin Jin held the door open for them to go in their own ride. Before Sanha climbed up the steps, he gave a quick hug to Jin Jin saying a heartfelt, "Thank you," before quickly following Eunwoo to the backseat.

 

As soon as Jin Jin got in, they were off.

 

Sanha watched as Jin Jin listened to Eunwoo's excited chatter about minions and he couldn't help but smile at the scene. His phone pinged and he looked down and his smile just got wider as he read his Rocky's text.

 

_Six Flags may be 51 minutes away (yes, I googled it), but one call or text and I'll be right over. Enjoy and don't let Eunwoo drag you down with his minions. Buy me stuff! Love you xx_

 

As he glanced back up at Jin Jin's sudden laughter and Eunwoo's bright smile, he realized something.

 

The past may have had one gloomy autumn story, but he knew he would have many more happy ones in the future.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> based on the interview  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwZiiJ3au3w 
> 
> where Sanha revealed he became depressed during the release of their 3rd album  
> 


End file.
